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Mike Brander
Mike Brander was the younger brother of Chris Brander. He was first seen as a little boy around eight or maybe nine years old, calling his then overweight brother a homo. He had not changed too much when he was next seen as an eighteen year old because he frequently got into scraps with Chris. Later, Chris asks Mike for a favor and when he refused, Chris sat on Mike until he gave in and said "you'll always be fat to me Chris" after Chris says "I'm not the same person I was in high school." This suggests that when Chris was overweight in high school, he may have sat on Mike before or a lot during their rivalry. He was depicted as a mamas boy, always calling for her when Chris cornered him. He has an extreme crush on Samantha James, a pop singer and one of Chris' old lovers. Mike did love his older brother and their fights were just sibling scraps. When Chris brought Samantha to their home in Los Angeles Mike did nothing to hide his strong feelings for her, going as far as hitting on her in front of Chris and his mother and even admitting he constantly pleasures himself to Samantha's posters. During the movie all he really does is flirt with Samantha and fight with Chris. Twice during the film Chris got Mike to take Samantha to a location in town where she could connect with her "fans" and both times turned into total disasters. The first time was at the mall and while Mike was casually chatting on the phone with Chris, he hit Samantha with her taser by accident causing her to fall off the level she was on. The second one was not Mike's fault but was caused by Samantha's short temper as she physically attacked a member of her audience. Soon after that Mike experiences what was possibly the best moment of his life. He was brushing his teeth and when he looks in the mirror he saw Samantha glaring at him, he got such a fright he screams in a high pitched squeaky voice. She then grabs him, spins him around and pushes him hard against the wall, demanding to know where Chris was. At first Mike claims he will not talk, but since he had made it ridiculously obvious to Samantha how much he liked her, she bribes him by kissing him with her tongue, causing Mike to happily give up Chris' secret. After that Mike becomes hyperactive and hysterically love sick as he is next seen shrieking with over overzealous joy, talking in high pitched squeals and generally looking very happy. He was last seen mocking Chris again by saying his famous line "Raise your hand if your brother's a homo". Physical Appearance Mike is a Caucasian boy with short, black hair, thick eyebrows and dark, brown eyes. While not excessively handsome, he was good looking enough to satisfy Samantha, who was a vain and self-obsessed model. Personality and Traits Mike is shown as an immature wuss who is constantly getting on the wrong side of his older brother and paying for it though he has shown he loves his brother regardless. Mike is characterized by his burning erotic love for the lush pop-singer Samantha James and when he met her, he focused on nothing but attempting to get her to like him back. Due to his intense attraction to Samantha, Mike could not see past Samantha's physical beauty and was blinded to her selfish nature. This caused Mike to become unable to stand up to Samantha and on the one occasion he actually tried to defy her, she easily seduced him. It is unknown how trustworthy or assertive he really is. Relationships 'Samantha James' Mike has obsessively lusted after the gorgeous Samantha James for an unknown amount of time before the present events of the movie despite being ten years her junior. It is unknown if he is a fan of her singing but he is obviously a fan of her looks and dreams of a sexual relationship with her. He has all of her highly erotic posters onon his bedroom walls and one in the bathroom that he can see when he looks in the mirror, Mike claims to pleasure himself to them eight times a day. He officially met her in the Christmas holidays and was overjoyed at having her in his house. Mike spent as much time as possible flirting with Samantha, trying to be alone with her as often as he could and doing all he could to get her to like him. Due to the fact that Mike was hopelessly besotted with Samantha, and had not taken into account her devious personality he was quite literally at her mercy for the amount of time she was in his house, as Samantha shamelessly used Mike's infatuation with her for personal gain. After accidentally tasering Samantha only a few hours after meeting her, Mike tried to make amends with her by bringing her food, magazines and flowers, all of which she scorned. Samantha then began complaining about how much she craved sex after not having any for a long time, painfully arousing Mike. Then, to Mike's surprise, Samantha asked him how old he was, looking rather hopeful. Mike told her that he was 18, which Samantha took as an all-clear and decided to make his dream for her come true. Samantha tried to sleep with Mike by chatting with him flirtatiously, stripping off and asking him to massage her naked body with oil. Mike obliged frenetically and even though he was only minutes away from having his dream girl, Chris' interference sadly ruined his chance. Although Mike would not get his wish of having sex with Samantha, he would soon get the next best thing. Later Chris gave Mike the job of watching over Samantha while he snuck off to be with his secret love Jaime, not wanting Samantha to follow. While Mike was in the bathroom that night brushing his teeth he took a glance at the poster of Samantha in the mirror's reflection but when he looked again he was terrified to see the furious real Samantha right behind him. She then pinned him against the wall, gripping his shoulders tight so he could not escape and angrily asked him wear Chris was but Mike refused to tell her. Samantha, however, knew right away how to win him over and did not plan on pulling her punches even a little bit. Brazenly manipulating Mike yet again, Samantha pressed her body up against his, drove her tongue onto his his lips, forced it as deep into his mouth as it would go and began to make out with him vigorously. Mike was at first utterly gobsmacked by Samantha's incredibly vehement snog, especially since it was coming from her. He closed his eyes, raised his eyebrows as high as they would go and gasped from shock but he let her proceed and opened his mouth wider to get the full feel of her warm, wet tongue. Samantha fiercely and passionately fondled Mike's tongue with her own while heatedly breathing into his mouth and groping him all over his chest and shoulders. Mike moaned with pleasure the whole time, feeling up her back and bare shoulders. At first, Samantha was licking Mike's tongue with so much dynamism that Mike was unable to move his. But as she moved her tongue off of Mike's to lick the sides and roof of his mouth, Mike licked her bottom lip and the underside of her tongue and put his right back in her mouth. Samantha then put her tongue back on Mike's, licked his lips again and finished the kiss by licking his tongue a couple more times and rubbing his nipples. When Samantha finally backed off, Mike eagerly told her that Chris was with Jaime. Samantha glared at Mike briefly while he gave her an adoring, dazed smile, some of her saliva still visible on his mouth. Samantha then ran off to find Chris and Mike, his joy of what had just happened too overwhelming for him, fainted.